Sex and Love Addiction | Signs, Effects & Treatment

Love and sex are among life’s greatest joys; we usually think of them as happy, healthy things. But for many, these important aspects of the human experience can become overwhelming obsessions, overshadowing everything else. When sex and love morph into addiction, they can significantly harm both your personal well-being and your relationships with others. Recognising and understanding sex and love addiction is the first step towards healing and reclaiming control over your life and relationships.

Sex and love addiction

What is sex addiction?

Sex addiction is a compulsive need for sexual activities while ignoring negative consequences. It can appear in various forms, including excessive porn use, a high turnover of sexual partners, frequent masturbation, visiting prostitutes or other hazardous sexual behaviours.
Sex addiction often occurs alongside other addictions, such as pornography or love, and it may intersect with other mental health challenges. It is thought that around 1 in 25 people are affected by sex addiction, with a majority of 80% being men.

What is love addiction?

Love addiction is a relentless drive to experience the emotions associated with being in love. This goes beyond normal “affection”, evolving into an intense need that dominates your life.

Some people become excessively reliant on a particular partner, needing continuous validation and attention to feel worthwhile. Others may continually seek new relationships, addicted to the initial thrill of romance and the excitement of the “honeymoon phase.”

There are also people who yearn for love but are afraid of the intimacy that comes with romantic relationships. This can cause them to push away partners or obsess over someone unobtainable.

While being in love is typically positive, for those with love addiction, it can transform into compulsive and damaging behaviours like stalking. This obsessive focus can be towards a current partner, a past one or even a stranger.

Love addiction can also co-exist with various mental health issues, co-dependency problems and other types of behavioural addiction, including sex addiction.

What makes sex and love addictive?

On a purely physical and chemical level, sex and love addiction tap into the same brain mechanisms as other addictions. When we experience sexual intimacy or romantic love, our brains release dopamine and other chemicals like oxytocin, which make us feel good. The more often we seek out these feelings, the more our brains start to depend on them to feel happy and fulfilled.

Interestingly, studies have shown that people with sex addiction often have higher levels of oxytocin, which is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone.” This hormone deepens feelings of attachment and trust during intimate moments, potentially making sex even more compelling.

But there’s often more beneath the surface. Mental health and addiction issues are often linked, and many who battle sex and love addiction are also dealing with significant emotional pain. This may include past abuse, depression or anxiety disorders or deeply rooted self-esteem problems.

They may seek out love or sexual encounters as a temporary fix for deeper discomfort or sadness, only to find that these quick fixes bring more problems than relief. That is why truly healing from sex and love addiction requires tackling these underlying emotional wounds head-on.

love-addiction

What makes sex and love addictive

On a purely physical and chemical level, sex and love addiction tap into the same brain mechanisms as other addictions. When we experience sexual intimacy or romantic love, our brains release dopamine and other chemicals like oxytocin, which make us feel good. The more often we seek out these feelings, the more our brains start to depend on them to feel happy and fulfilled.

 

Interestingly, studies have shown that people with sex addiction often have higher levels of oxytocin, which is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone.” This hormone deepens feelings of attachment and trust during intimate moments, potentially making sex even more compelling.

But there’s often more beneath the surface. Mental health and addiction issues are often linked, and many who battle sex and love addiction are also dealing with significant emotional pain. This may include past abuse, depression or anxiety disorders or deeply rooted self-esteem problems.

They may seek out love or sexual encounters as a temporary fix for deeper discomfort or sadness, only to find that these quick fixes bring more problems than relief. That is why truly healing from sex and love addiction requires tackling these underlying emotional wounds head-on.

Signs and symptoms of a sex or love addiction

Love and sex addict symptoms are not as easy to spot as you may think. Addiction is incredibly sly and can easily persuade you and others that there’s nothing wrong, especially as love and sex are supposed to be positive things. If you’re worried about yourself or someone you know, here are some things to look out for:

Love addiction symptoms

  • Your mind is often filled with thoughts about someone you love or the idea of love itself.
  • You rely heavily on romantic relationships to feel happy or complete.
  • You find yourself changing or hiding your true personality to please a partner.
  • You experience guilt or shame regarding your actions and choices in your romantic life.
  • You jump from one relationship to another, trying to fill a void within yourself.
  • You find it hard to form or keep deep and meaningful connections.
  • You remain hung up on old relationships, making it hard to let go and move forward.

Sex addict symptoms

  • You are constantly preoccupied with sexual thoughts.
  • You masturbate, have sex or engage in other sexual behaviours more than you really want to.
  • All your attempts to control or stop your sexual behaviours have failed.
  • You spend all your time on dating apps or trying to find new sexual partners.
  • You persist in your sexual activities even though they are causing you problems in relationships or affecting your health or happiness.
  • If you can’t have sex, you feel angry, anxious or depressed.

If you notice these signs, you may be addicted to love or sex and need professional addiction counselling.

The dangerous side effects of a sex or love addiction

The detrimental effects of love and sex addiction can be subtle or underestimated but are incredibly destructive. These addictions activate the brain’s pleasure centres but can leave you feeling desperate or in pain when those intense needs are unmet. This can even manifest as physical discomfort or pain, which can be unbearable and is almost like substance withdrawal.

Dangerous sexual behaviour can put you in danger of sexually transmitted infections, while unrequited love can harm your mental health and lead to self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Both addictions can cause you to lie and manipulate, which can affect your relationships and leave you lonely and isolated.

Sex and love addiction - woman with anxiety

Your job, education and personal life can also be affected as you neglect all other important aspects of your life in the pursuit of love and sex. You may even get into legal trouble for stalking or manipulative behaviours.

Overcoming a sex or love addiction

Overcoming sex or love addiction is a deeply personal journey, and it requires both good intentions and a professional rehab treatment programme. Linwood House mixes expert-led therapy with holistic treatments that care for your whole self.

We dive deep to help you understand and move past traumas and emotional hurts, integrating practices like mindfulness and physical activities to build a healthier you.

After you complete the main part of the programme, our aftercare and alumni programmes offer ongoing therapy and support groups to help you stay on track and build a life full of wellness and joy.

Seek help for a sex or love addiction today

If sex or love addiction is impacting your life or that of someone you care about, Linwood House is here to help. Contact us today for personalised advice and support from our experienced team. We will answer your questions and help you take the first steps towards recovery. At every stage, we ensure you have the support and resources you need to heal and build a new life.

Frequently asked questions

What are the most effective love and sex addiction therapy techniques?
A combination of therapy techniques often proves most effective for love and sex addiction. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is widely used because it helps you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviours which fuel your relationship with sex or love. Motivational Interviewing (MI) can also be beneficial as it keeps you on track if doubts creep in during recovery. Group therapy is also very helpful because it lets you meet others who are going through the same things, making you feel less alone and more understood.
How to help a loved one with a sex or love addiction?
Seeing someone you care about struggle with any addiction is tough. The best way to help is to start with a lot of kindness and understanding. Try to talk about your concerns without making them feel judged. Let them know you’re there for them and encourage them to get help from professionals who understand what they’re going through. Setting up some personal boundaries is also important, as you need to take care of your mental health and well-being. And it might help you join a support group to learn from other people in similar situations.
Are sex and love addiction recognised conditions?
Yes, the mental health and addiction treatment communities definitely take sex and love addiction seriously, even though how they’re classified can vary. For instance, while you won’t find “sex addiction” listed exactly like that in the DSM-5, related issues are covered under different names. Similarly, the World Health Organisation’s guidelines, the ICD-11, acknowledge “compulsive sexual behaviour disorder” as a real condition. Love addiction isn’t officially in these big manuals yet, but many doctors and organisations like Linwood House recognise love addiction and know how to treat it.

(Click here to see works cited)

  • Primrose Lodge. “Sex/Love Addiction | Definition, Symptoms & Effects.” Primrose Lodge, 10 February 2025, https://www.primroselodge.com/behavioural-addictions/sex-love/. Accessed 20 April 2025.
  • Very Well Mind. “What Is Love Addiction? Definition, Symptoms, Causes, Treatment.” Very Well Mind, 2023, https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-love-addiction-5210864#toc-causes-of-love-addiction. Accessed 20 April 2025.
  • Recovery Lighthouse. “Sex & Love Addiction | Effects & Treatment.” Recovery Lighthouse, 27 January 2025, https://www.recoverylighthouse.com/addiction/behavioural/sex-love/. Accessed 20 April 2025.