Helping Addicted Adolescents

It can be scary to find out your teenager is abusing drugs or suffering from alcoholism, and it isn’t always obvious what to do next. But helping addicted adolescents, whether you’re a parent, a teacher, a guardian, or someone who works in the addiction treatment industry, always starts with the understanding that most teenagers come across alcohol or drugs at some point. That doesn’t mean they have a problem or will inevitably become addicted, or that you need to be scared about them overdosing.

Drinking and experimenting with drugs are common parts of many teenagers’ lives, and the vast, vast majority get over it quickly without any issues. But it’s important for adults to spot the difference between normal teenage behaviour and when substance use is becoming something more serious.

Why teenage brains make risky decisions

A teenager’s brain is still growing, with years to come before it’s fully developed. The part of the brain that drives reward and excitement grows early, but the part that weighs up risk catches up later, often not until their mid-twenties. That delay is one reason why teenagers and drugs and alcohol can be a risky mix. Even the most well-behaved teen can be drawn to trying something new with their friends. Teen brains are built to take more risks and to be more susceptible to influence from people around them, and this is right at the time when alcohol and drugs are often easiest to find.

Teenage substance use doesn’t always mean adolescent addiction

Many teenagers try alcohol or drugs once or twice out of curiosity, and most never go further than that. A recent NHS survey of secondary school pupils across England found 13% had tried drugs and 37% had drunk alcohol at some point. If every case of adolescent substance misuse or drinking is treated like a crisis, that can backfire and push them to hide things instead of being honest.

The real signs of addiction in teenagers look different from a drink at a party. Watch for changes in their mood, behaviour, friendships, sleep, appetite, and how they’re doing at school. They may start hiding where they’ve been, who they’re hanging out with, and where their money is going. All of these are bigger warning signs than an isolated drink or finding some cannabis in their room one time.

Why a teenager might start using drugs or alcohol

Most of the time, teens try drugs or alcohol because they’re curious or want to have a good time. Peer pressure can be a big thing, and they may have just seen their friends do it and want to fit in.

However, some teenagers may drink or use drugs to cope with something difficult like stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, or bullying. They may be having trouble at home that they don’t tell their teachers about, or trouble at school that they hide from their parents.

It’s really important for caregivers and parents not to jump straight in or panic. The immediate instinct can be to frantically Google “teenage substance abuse” or start looking up professional support for teenage alcohol abuse or addiction. It’s possible that they may need support, but it’s far more likely it’s just a phase. The important thing is not to jump to conclusions, and to find out what’s really going on.

How to speak to your teenager

How well the first conversation goes takes a bit of planning. Choose a time when they’re sober, and when things at home are as calm as they can be. Don’t try it during a row, or right after you’ve found something that’s worried you. Lead with your concerns instead of any kind of accusation or blame, and don’t start by telling them they’re in big trouble. The best approach is usually to ask open questions, then listen to the answer.

When you’re helping a teenager with addiction, this one conversation, done well, can count for more than any threats, ultimatums, punishments, or lectures. If you show that you only want to help and that you’re open to the idea that it may not be a massive deal, it can give them the confidence to open up.

How to set boundaries and avoid enabling

Even if you’re confident that your child isn’t addicted or in big trouble right now, that doesn’t mean you should turn a blind eye or not try to get them to stop. Boundaries are very important, and fair consequences for unsafe or harmful behaviour can go a long way. At the very least, underage drinking and drug use are illegal, and it’s important that a teen understands that just because everyone else is doing it, that doesn’t make it right or legal.

It’s up to parents to decide what they think the right boundaries and punishments are. You may decide to stop giving them any money that they could use on alcohol or drugs. You may ground them, take away their car if you pay for it, enforce a curfew, or not allow their friends around to your house. As with all parts of parenting, this is often a fine line, and there is no universal advice for how to set and enforce boundaries perfectly.

Crucially, you need to make sure you’re not enabling their substance use. This can be difficult because it can feel like you’re getting them in trouble or coming down too hard. But if you cover for them at school, or give them money to fund more drinking or using, you’re just making it more likely they will develop bigger problems. If they’re already addicted, enabling is one of the worst things you can do, because it stops them from experiencing the consequences of their actions, which is often what shows someone they’ve lost control.

Getting help for a teenager with addiction

Supporting a teenager with addiction means getting them help, not enabling them or telling them off. Don’t wait if the substance use is frequent, getting worse, hurting school, relationships or their mental health, or tied up with risky behaviour. The sooner you get support, the better the chances of avoiding dangers and your child making a full recovery.

Addiction in young people needs a proper assessment first. The right treatment for teenage addiction varies from person to person, and needs to fit their needs and circumstances. Parents of addicted teenagers don’t need to work out what the right treatment looks like. You can contact their GP or a specialist provider like Linwood House, who can advise you on where to start.

Addiction and mental health in teenagers

Substance use in teenagers often comes with anxiety, depression, trauma, and sometimes self-harm. This means that treating only the substance use tends not to work. Professional recovery centres like Linwood House consider adolescent mental health and addiction at the same time.

If your teenager is at immediate risk, has taken a dangerous amount of a substance, is talking about wanting to harm themselves, or won’t wake up properly, call 999, or get them to A&E right away. Childline, on 0800 1111, is there for your teenager too, day or night.

Support for the whole family from Linwood House

You may need support as much as your teenager. Family support for addiction can mean counselling of your own, a support group, or someone to talk to regularly. Linwood House’s sister rehab Banbury Lodge treats teenagers 16 and over, and teenagers over 18 through our wider network. Getting help for teenage addiction always starts with one conversation.